The Last Time I…

This coming weekend is Mother’s Day here in the U.S., and it’ll be the first one without my mom, who passed away in July of last year. Every time I see a Hallmark commercial or a Teleflora commercial, I think, “Oh, I’ve got to remember to get Mom’s Mother’s Day gift.” And then it hits me again that no, I don’t have to.

I was watching a movie over the weekend, Griffin and Phoenix, about two single adults who discover the joy of life as they are living the last days of theirs, each having been diagnosed with terminal cancer. The female character, Sarah Phoenix, tells Griffin how she had been thinking about all the last times in her life – the last time she wrote with a pencil, the last time she celebrated Christmas, etc. and how she didn’t pay attention to those events because they didn’t seem to matter at the time.

I had so many of the same thoughts after my mom died – the last Thanksgiving, the last Christmas, the last Easter, the last visit. I wish I’d hung onto the last birthday card she’d sent me, but I didn’t, and now there will be no more.

My mom’s death has made me acutely aware of the magic of life, and how it can disappear in an instant. When you get to the mid-life point and realize that you probably have more time behind you than ahead of you, every moment seems so much more precious, and you wonder about all the time you wasted in your youth. I’ve come to the conclusion that youth is wasted on the young..LOL

Eric and I will be headed to my hometown this weekend for a special remembrance of my mom, and we plan to go eat at one of her favorite restaurants and hang out in some of her favorite stores in her favorite nearby town.

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom!