My Mom — Gone But Not Forgotten

It's been a year today since my mom unexpectedly passed away from a heart attack.  On one hand, it's hard to believe it's been a year, since I still, on occasion, go to pick up the phone to call her, only to realize she's not there.  Fortunately, the pain of her loss has lessened considerably over the last year.

For the first six months I relived that day every single morning when I awoke (she went into cardiac arrest in my car).  Eric kept asking me how long I was going to keep blaming myself for not being able to transport her back to the hospital more quickly (I had picked her up from the ER after she had been treated and released from earlier that morning for a COPD attack).  I didn't have an answer for him.

Eventually, though, in the last year, most of my guilt has dissipated, along with my continual reliving of that day.  I finally feel I'm back on track, but I admit that this life event was the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with thus far in my 46 years.

I've posted one of my fav pics of us together that was taken in Jan. 2003 as we prepared to go to a Jasper Chamber of Commerce banquet where my brother had been nominated (and won) the Outstanding Young Person of the Year Award.  It was a night filled with happy memories.  This is the pic that sits on my desk that I look at every day as I remember what a good friend (and mom) she was to me.