Is Your Business Hard on Your Relationship?

I’ve recently become aware of a new television series out of Canada called, Being Erica, that runs on the Soap.Net channel here in the U.S.  Part sci-fi and part soap-opera, it chronicles the life of 30-something Erica Strange, who was flailing about in her life until her encounter with mysterious Dr. Tom, a therapist whose office pops up whenever needed for Erica as he sends her back in time to relive regrets from her past.

In the most recent episode, Erica and her live-in boyfriend, Ethan, have vastly differing points of view about her course of action after being fired from her publishing job at River Rock Publishing.  Erica, who’s impetuous and a risk-taker, wants to start a new publishing business with her former editor, who was given a pink slip simultaneously with Erica after the book Erica launched was slammed by the critics. Ethan, an elementary school teacher, advocates for a much safer path, telling Erica that starting a business is much too risky and that she needs to get out there and look for another job, as he has visions of children and a house with a white picket fence in their future.

Erica is torn with indecision and is sent back in time to gain direction for her future.  Ultimately, (SPOILER ALERT HERE) she decides to break up with Ethan, realizing that they want different things in life.

Unfortunately, divorce (or the ending of relationships) is a side effect of going into business for yourself.  One of the trainers in an entrepreneurial training program I took in the mid-1990s talked about this issue, which, of course, I dismissed as utter rubbish.  Until it happened to me in 1998, that is.  My wanting to be self-employed was not the only cause of the demise of my marriage — there were a number of mitigating factors.  However, my decision to move forward with that choice was the death knell of a troubled union and served to put my relationship out of its misery.

Marriage #2 couldn’t be more different than marriage #1.  My husband, Eric, is my biggest fan and biggest cheerleader and believes in me when I don’t believe in myself (and those times come oftener than I’d like to admit). He fully supports my entrepreneurial streak but realizes that’s not his path, despite my best efforts to lure him into self-employment.  He likes the comfort and steady income that a regular job brings him, and I’m OK with that as long as he’s OK with me running my own biz.

Sometimes you have to end those parts of your life that prevent you from seeking your goal.  Unfortunately, many relationships don’t survive the journey to self-employment, whether those are romantic relationships, family relationships, friendships, or work relationships.  Sometimes you have to step away from those people in your life who are nay-sayers and decide to hang out only with those people who encourage you.  Once you achieve your goal of starting your own business, sometimes the relationship can be repaired.

If it can’t, just move forward.  Looking back serves no purpose.